Earlier today, during a game between the Chicago Sky and the Golden State Valkyries, someone in the crowd launched a neon green object onto the court. And not just any object — it looked suspiciously, unmistakably, aggressively like a dildo. A glowing green one. Like something you’d find in the back of a Spencer’s behind the black curtain.
ANOTHER GREEN GILDO WAS THROWN AT THE GAME 😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/zSkWp0TcW1
— NBACentel (@TheNBACentel) August 2, 2025
Play stopped. Officials looked around like someone just threw a live grenade onto the hardwood. Players tried to keep it professional. Cameras? Not so much. Quick pan away, like “nothing to see here.” But there was definitely something to see.
And here’s the kicker — this is the second time in less than a week this has happened during a Valkyries game. TWO. TIMES. IN A WEEK. That’s not a coincidence. That’s a full-on pattern. We’re talking serial dong deployment.
No one’s sure what the message is supposed to be. Is this a protest? A prank? A deeply weird ritual offering to the basketball gods? All we know is the WNBA is not amused. The league dropped a statement condemning the disruption and said they’re stepping up security. More eyes in the crowd. More rules. Probably a full crackdown on suspicious shapes at the gate. TSA-style bag checks incoming.
And honestly… how do you even stop this? Metal detectors? Rubber detectors? Ban anything phallic-shaped from entering the arena? Good luck. You think the ushers are ready to start confiscating “novelty items” at the door?
It’s wild. It’s funny. It’s also a little concerning. Mostly it’s just so incredibly random. Like of all the things you could throw on the court — beach ball, beer, maybe a shoe — someone looked at a neon green sex toy and went, “Yeah, this’ll make a statement.”
Look, whether this is a performance art piece gone rogue or some fan trolling on expert mode, it’s becoming a thing. A very weird, very public, very hard-to-ignore thing.
